Creating Miracles

When something in the world happens that is out of the ordinary and different then what normally happens, it is called a miracle.    The whole miracle of the splitting of the sea was that the  water went against its nature!   The nature of water is to flow, but this time, the water stood up creating a wall.

We all have the power to create our own miracles!  Every single time we go against our nature, and make a change for the positive it is a miracle.  For example, if a mothers natural instinct is to yell when the children aren't meeting an expectation, and she takes a few minutes to breath and react calmly instead, this is a MIRACLE!

Working on ourselves, and transforming small interactions as they come up, may seem like  no big deal.  But that struggle, (to yell or to speak calmly, to punish out of anger or to talk things out later with patience, to find ways to motivate  proper behavior rather then criticize, to spend those few extra minutes cuddling at bed time and listening to what is on our child's mind...)  these small things make a HUGE difference to a child!

Our kids notice everything. They notice our moods, and our behaviors.  When a child observes a parent change their initial negative reaction to a positive one ,  it shows them they can  do the same!  Every time we change a moment that could have been a negative one into a positive one, it is a huge victory!  We sometimes need to stop and pat ourselves on the back for these internal victories!

"Staying Positive" Guidelines

Our guest blogger today is Pam Machefsky, an Early Childhood Educator, parent educator, and mentor for new teachers for 35 years.

Welcome, readers, to the Positive Parents Place--an ideal setting for parents to learn and share. Here are some guidelines which can make Rivkie's "staying positive" techniques more effective for you and your family:

• Have goals for your children and your family. Ask yourself, "What do I/we want for my/our children?" In a two-parent family, both parents should agree on the goals and be prepared to achieve them.This requires frequent communication between parents!
• Make age-appropriate requests of your children. Do not expect your two year-old to dress himself--it's not age-appropriate. This requires some reading of child development books (if you are unsure what is appropriate) or lots of talking to friends with children!
• Make clear and concise requests of your children. Keep instructions simple, using familiar words. This requires patiently talking to your children a lot!
• Make consistent requests of your children. Do not change rules or allow your children to avoid expectations because it's easier for you. This requires a lot of determination!
• Model behavior which you want to see in your children. For example, do not forbid your children to snack in the car when you know YOU snack in the car. This requires a lot of will-power!

When followed regularly, these five guidelines can give real support to challenging moments and will provide a foundation for "staying positive." Look for more discussions about the above underlined topics, here at The Positive Parents' Place.

Finding The Time to Stay Fit

Being a mom and finding time to work out can be very challenging!  There are so many benefits to exercise, that finding that time to make it happen can really affect ones whole day in a positive way.  Some of the benefits of exercise include :  weight control, helps fight health conditions and disease,  Improved mood, boost of energy, and best of all helps you sleep better!  

I like to workout at 6am, because I know that I will have no excuse later that I am "too tired"  or "didn't have time."  It is a time that we agreed as a family that if my children wake up while I am working out, they can go to my husband for whatever they need and play games without interrupting my workout time.  Not only does it work out so well, I also feel my kids are getting the message that moms also need time to themselves! Setting times to do things that make us happy, can help us have more energy when we are with our children!

One way to make working out part of our busy lives is to sit down and really figure out the best time of the day that everyone agrees will be moms workout time.  If it is a time that the kids are home,  everyone in the family  knows mom is working out and dad (or someone else) is in charge.
 Exercise should be fun!  If you are doing something you hate, it wont last too long, so finding something that keeps you moving, but is still enjoyable is key to staying successful.  Even just turning up the music and dancing will burn calories and get your mood up!

Being a parent is hard work!  The good news is that it's supposed to be that way!  I believe G-d gave us children (and husbands  ) in order to "force"  us to work on ourselves if we want to be successful.  If not for children and marriage,  what would push us to change and grow?   When we realize this is the way it's meant to be,  it can help us relax and be able to really tap into our children and figure out ways that can work to help bring out the best in them!  Realizing that it's NORMAL for things to be tough.  It's NORMAL that we don't always know how to deal with every situation! 

   

A friend of mine once told me "I feel like such a horrible parent!" "I don't know how to deal with my children's behavior so we have to go speak to a professional."  She was really embarrassed about this.  I feel its the exact opposite! OF course we don't know everything when it comes to dealing with our children!  We didn't go to school to become parents... we weren't born knowing how to deal with every situation!  As long as we realize that it is in our ability to find solutions, ones that can work, and reach each child to help them bring out the best in them!  we can find those ways  and work towards bringing out the best in each one of our children.