Dealing With New Sibling Jealousy:

When a new baby is born, it's natural for a child who was an only child or the baby of the family up until the baby was born to feel jealous. A child may think to himself, weren't things good enough without the new baby?  Teaching your child how to deal with their feelings through validation and patience, can help make the adjustment easier for them to handle.

Prepare Your Child For The New Baby: 

Reading stories about a new sibling - and the emotions that come along with it - can help your child understand what having a new sibling might be like. Showing them pictures of when they were born, as you talk to them about how they were as a baby, gives them a perspective of the stages the new baby might go through. Having a present ready for your older child 'from the baby,' can give him/her positive feelings toward the baby from the start.

Dealing With Jealous Feelings:

• Assuring your child that they are unique and there will never be anyone exactly like them and you will always love them unconditionally, could help them feel less jealous about your love for the new baby.
• Instead of blaming things that don’t work out on the baby, you can re-frame the situation in a way that shows your child you are considering his/her needs. For example, instead of saying, "I can’t play with you because I am changing the baby’s diaper", you can say "my hands are busy but they will be free in a few minutes.” Instead of saying "We can’t go out because the baby needs to be home,” you might say something like "As soon as Daddy gets home, we can go out.” 
• Mentioning your older child to your baby can make him/her feel you care.  For example, at a time when your baby feels content to lie by him/herself say out loud so your child can hear you: "Mommy is putting you down now because I need to spend some time with your older brother now."  
• Having a special box where you put toys, activities, and even treats for the sibling to open up and enjoy during times when the baby needs to be fed can help him/her feel included.  Brother/Sister can even help to make or decorate the box so he or she will feel a sense of pride and ownership within the situation; this will help contribute to him or her feeling a sense of security during an otherwise unsettling time!

In general, including your child in activities that involve the baby whenever possible can help your child feel involved and less likely to start acting out. 


Teach Instead Of Punish:

When your child tries to hit the baby, telling him/her the behavior you do want, instead of emphasizing what you don’t is more effective.  For example, instead of saying "stop hitting," you might say "Gentle,” as you gently take their hand and stroke it over the baby. Instead of putting your toddler in time out when they act out, you can teach them how to express their feelings in a more positive way. For example, if a toddler throws something at the baby because he wants attention, the child can be told; “when you want Mommy to be with you, use words like; "Mommy, can you be with me now?" Or 'I feel sad.'  Even if your child is very young and doesn’t have the vocabulary, they can communicate this on their level by learning to say "I want you Mommy," instead of hurting the baby.  If a child tries to hurt the baby often, it might be a better idea to keep them separated while you give the older child lots of attention whenever possible. As your child learns that you still love him and his feelings are validated, he will learn to love his new sibling and will grow out of this stage.

Make Special Time Just For Your Older Child:

Making time to be just with your older child reminds them that they are special too. One-on-One time helps children feel reassured that they are important and loved, regardless of  the love you show to other siblings. It can be fifteen minutes of reading stories together, or a trip to the grocery store where only one child comes along. Even just sitting and talking without being preoccupied with other things makes a child feel you care!  For parents who are extra busy, marking a date on the calender to go somewhere or do an activity your child enjoys, can help make that time happen.

Our Moods Have Power!

  

The way the mother of the home feels has a big impact on everyone else around her. When Mommy's not happy, no one is happy. Controlling our moods is a challenge! We are only human and each of us has plenty of things to think about that can  keep us feeling down. Keeping in mind how our mood can result in a happy day with sharing and caring, or the contrary, may give us motivation to work on feeling happier.  Here are a few mood boosters that can help:

1) Staying Hydrated:

Drinking lots of water affects how we feel in a major way! Dehydration causes irritability, headaches, and an inability to make proper judgments. Having a water bottle handy at all times can be a reminder to drink throughout the day.  Drinking  before and after meals can help too!

2) More Sleep:

Even if your little ones wake you up in the middle of the night, the time you go to bed makes a big difference!  Getting to bed early  not only helps you feel happier and more energetic,  but it helps control mood swings and weight gain as well!

3) Positive Thinking: 

Surrounding yourself with people who
make you feel good and care about you makes a difference in your mood. When speaking about problems, using words like "I can" and " it's possible"  affects the way you feel in a positive way. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones helps you  start seeing  more positive results!

Tips To Keeping Your Home Clean And Organized:

Feeling more relaxed, being a good role model to your children and getting more accomplished during the day, are just a few benefits to being organized. Here are a few tips that can help you get started:

1) Make Cleaning Part Of Your Routine: 
Just as taking a shower and eating are part of ones daily routine, so too cleaning and organizing should be.  Cleaning and organizing can become a habit when it is put on the "to do list."   

2) Create A Starting And Ending Point:

Think of your home as a maze. Start at the same place every day. As you go  from room to room, put everything  in its place. Taking the time to find a place for everything is well worth it! Throw out all garbage, pile up papers to look through, straighten up beds, and sweep each room.  

3) Have Specific Days Planned For Chores:  

Choosing a specific day to clean the fridge, the windows and  the bathrooms for example, can help you get things done.  If you have cleaning help,  other things can be put on this list.   Going through papers, sorting drawers and  making the shopping list are some examples.

4) Cleanup Before Kids Bedtime:

Singing your favorite clean up song and having the kids help out, can  get them used to a clean up routine.  Try making a game out of it!  Each child can be in charge of  a specific corner.  The children can drop toys off  that belong in the others' corner and the toys will be clean in no time!  Putting laundry in the hamper can be turned into a game of basketball by hanging a hoop over the hamper.