By Pam Machefsky, an Early Childhood Educator, parent educator, and mentor for new teachers for 35 years.
If you're a parent whose child is giving you some signals that he/she is ready for using the toilet, I have some suggestions drawn from both personal experience and from 35 years in the Early Childhood field. Allow me to share!
1. The term 'toilet training' is generally not used in educational circles these days. Using the phrase 'toilet learning' or 'potty learning' gives a much more accurate description of what the child is doing.
2. There is NO 'right' age for toilet learning; it is an extremely individual process. I always felt sad and indignant for parents who told me that their child was rejected from a nursery school because he/she was not yet toilet ready. Setting a date for when children MUST be using the toilet is completely artificial and even goes against one's natural needs. If you apply to a nursery school that demands 'toilet learned by a certain date' as an entrance requirement, the National Association for the Education of Young Children (N.A.E.Y.C.) advises against choosing that school for your child.
3. Knowing that there is no correct age for toilet learning, what does a parent do? Happily, there are signs that your child is ready. (Just as you know that your baby can eat certain foods once they have teeth, there are signs for this potty-ready stage in life also!) First of all, is your child eager for mastery in other areas of his/her life? Wants to pick out his foods, her clothes, wants to try new experiences? This is a sign of a child getting ready! Then look for a child who might hide behind a chair (or go to a "private place") when she needs to make a bowel movement in her diaper. This child understands that something is happening in her body, and she feels like she wants a quiet or private place for this to happen. Another signal is a child who wants his diaper off as soon as it's wet; he doesn't like that uncomfortable dampness anymore. (And no matter how much the diaper manufacturers tell you that their diaper stays dryer--it does feel wet!) Another signal is a lot of curiosity about the bathroom and the toilet.
4. When you sense that your child is ready, you'll have a few questions.(a) How do I start? Pick a week-end or some other day or two when your family schedule is not full. (Good luck with that!) Know that you'll be changing a lot of underpants at first. Have lots of new underwear on hand and have a small potty/seat cover in the bathroom. (b) Which small toilet do you choose for your home toilet learning? Some children prefer to have their feet on the floor, so a small potty which sits on the floor is best for them (although is is more work for the parent--another toilet to clean!) Other kids like the idea of being on the "big potty", so a small seat which fits over the big toilet is ideal for them. There are many portable seat covers available today, so you can easily pack one in a bag for when you go out. (c) Do you use "pull-ups" during this time? Generally, I would say do not use pull-ups in the daytime--they really are just diapers with elastic waists! One of the 'perks' of learning is the thrill of getting to wear 'big girl' or 'big boy' underpants. If your child is wetting/soiling more than 4 pairs in 8 hours (with cues from you), then he or she may not be ready yet. (d) How do I cue my child? "It's time to go to the bathroom," is a good reminder. If your child is reluctant to stop what they are doing to go to the bathroom, remind him that you are proud that he's going and you want to help him keep his special new underwear dry.
5. Relax! The most important thing to remember is to remain calm and keep a positive demeanor when experiencing the challenges that may come with toilet learning. Keeping in mind that every child gets there sooner or later - when he/she is ready - can help. Your child is taking a giant step toward independence! Congrats!
No comments:
Post a Comment